gentle parenting

I pulled this quote by Catherine Lewis from a wonderful book: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

“Consider a five year old boy who picked up a large rock and appeared ready to throw it. ‘A teacher standing nearby said casually, ‘Lend me the rock,’ and demonstrated, by touching the rock to the child’s head, how the rock could hit a classmate’s head. The teacher then returned the rock to the child, saying, ‘Carry it carefully.” …
The teacher neither asked the child to put down the rock nor implied that the child intended to throw it. Instead, the teacher implied that the problem was one of information-that the boy hadn’t thought carefully about how the rock might hurt others. The teacher’s action also implied that the boy was capable of self-control; after all, the teacher gave the rock back to the boy. In contrast, if the teacher had taken away the rock or imposed punishment, the boy might have inferred that he was untrustworthy or incapable of self-control; and he might well have focused on punishment as the reason not to throw rocks, rather than on the danger of injuring others.”


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